Helen L. Conway Helen L. Conway
One to one Coach & Family Law Supervisor, Mindfulness teacher,
Divorce coaching
Relationships are what make us human and when they go wrong the resulting conflict taints our whole life. I can help you get past that conflict to a better life.
I can help you in three ways:
Emotional Readiness MeetingS
If you are working with a mediator I can, at their request, work with you to make sure that you are ready for the mediation and that the mediator fully understands your emotional needs. The aim is to make sure that the mediation is effective as possible and to ensure that you are as comfortable in the process as possible.
In the meeting I will do some or all of:
- Really listening to your story with particular focus on how the events have affected you emotionally.
- Considering the natural conflict styles of you and your partner and how that might affect how you and your mediator approach mediation.
- Considering the communication patterns between you and your partner and what the mediator may need to take into account.
- Give you some tips on how to prepare yourself emotionally for the mediation and how to manage any anxiety or stress you feel about it.
Cost and practicalities
This is a one-off meeting of 90 minutes. The cost is £190 which includes the preparation of the report I will prepare for your mediator after the meeting. I do not charge VAT
Most appointments are during the day but I do have a limited number of evening appointments although they tend to go quickly. I work on Zoom so you do not need to travel to see me..
If you have discussed this with your mediator and they would like you to have this meeting, please simply book using the button below which takes you to my online calendar where you can choose an appointment and pay the cost of £190 on a card..
Divorce/Separation coaching
Who is it for?
Divorce coaching is for you if you are
- wanting support through the process of separation or divorce or
- at the end of your mediation or legal process and you are ready to build a new life.
Divorce coaching
- is future looking and about supporting you to set and achieve goals for your life that meet your needs
- can empower you to engage with the mediation or legal processes
- deals with both emotions and practicalities
- can help you avoid falling into the trap of repeating past mistakes and ways of behaving that are no longer serving you.
Your goals maybe about very practical things such as taking the next legal step in your separation, deciding where to live or how to approach a business that has been affected by the financial impact of your divorce or separation. Or they maybe more about your relationships – perhaps you are going to be co-parenting and you want to find a way to make that work. Some people come with goals that are related to their personal development, maybe wanting to build up confidence and renewed sense of who they are after the ending of a long relationship, for example.
The joy of my work as a coach is that every person I help is different! You can bring your own story and your own dreams for the future to coaching and have them fully accepted and supported.
What happens in divorce coaching?
There is no set process we work through in post-divorce coaching because each package is bespoke to you and your situation/ needs. At the start of the sessions together we spend time working out exactly what your true goal is and what you hope to get from the coaching. You will set an overall goal that you aim to reach by the end of our work together. Then at each session I help you figure out the ‘next step goal’ that will take you one step further. By the end of the session you make the decision about what steps you are going to take between then and the next session to move you further towards your end goal.
If you are not sure what your end goals would be, that’s fine, we can figure that out together in our initial call before you start working with me.
Coaching is a purposeful conversation and in that conversation my role is to
- really truly listen to you and understand what your situation is
- ask you curious and sometimes challenging questions
- allow you to tap into your inner wisdom
- offer a safe place where you can explore your emotions
- help you see your situation from a different perspective
- dig down to find the values which are important to you and should form the foundation of your new life
- help you identify mindsets and beliefs which are not helping you and assist you to choose new ones
- give you a space to look at how your past might be still influencing you now and how you can make new choices
- encourage you to spot and appreciate your strengths
- support to you generate options for action
- give you an accountability structure so you get your goals done
How is this different to counselling or therapy?
Coaching is different to therapy. In coaching we start from the assumption that nothing is wrong with you, that you do not need to be ‘fixed’ and you can make choices for your own life. We will not focus on the past, although we might look at it briefly but always in the context of how it is influencing your present and whether you want that influence to continue to the future. I will not give you advice or push you in a particular direction but will enable you to make your own choices and take your own actions towards your own future. Some clients would benefit from therapy, either as well as or instead of coaching, and if I think that is a better approach for you I will say so and will offer you referrals to trusted therapists.
Coaching can be an exciting gift to give yourself – a rare opportunity to take time to deeply consider what you want and how you can improve your life.
The practicalities and cost
This is a set programme of 6 sessions.
For sessions of one hour length the cost is £900.
For sessions of ninety minutes which allow you to feel less rushed and allow us to cover more material, the cost is £1350.
I do not charge VAT. Payment is required in advance and can be paid on a debit or credit card.
I see clients every other week, so your appointments can either be fortnightly or monthly as suits you. Most appointments are during the day but I do have a limited number of evening appointments although they tend to go quickly. I work on Zoom.
There is a little more information about me and how I work on here.
If you are interested please use the button below to book a free 30 minute, no obligation call so that I can check that the coaching is what you need and that I have appointments in your timescale. You can also ask any questions you have in that call. Or if you prefer you can email me using the email button below.
Conflict Coaching
Who is conflict coaching for?
This is a specialist form of divorce coaching that is suitable for you if
- you have been stuck in a family conflict for a long time
- you feel like nothing will ever change
- you feel trapped in a never ending cycle of disagreement with a family member
- your court process or mediation is stalling as a result with costs rising and no progress being made
- your relationships with your children or other family members are suffering
What happens in conflict coaching?
The purpose of this coaching is to help you understand what is happening to you and to enable to you imagine a different future and take steps to get to a stage where you can contemplate using a mediator or lawyer to help you resolve the conflict or resolving it direct.
This is a programme involving a set process in which you will:
1. Have your story deeply listened to and understood from your point of view.
2. Be guided to expand that story until it takes in every other person who many be influencing your situation so we can together understand the story from every angle.
3. Be supported to consider how the events of your life have affected you emotionally especially with regards to your sense of power and identity.
4. Start to to build a picture of the future that you would like to create for yourself and to understand your needs and those of others so that you can construct an agreement that will be acceptable to everyone.
5. Build the skills you need to do well in your mediation or legal process including communication and negotiation skills so that you can enter the mediation our court process with a greater sense of purpose and control.
Ideally you will do the programme before your mediation or legal process but it is possible to do it alongside, which can be helpful if your partner has activated a court process before you are ready for it.
Practicalities and cost
This is a set programme of 6 sessions each lasting ninety minutes.
The cost is £1350.
I do not charge VAT. Payment is required in advance and can be paid on a debit or credit card.
I see clients every other week, so your appointments can either be fortnightly or monthly as suits you. Most appointments are during the day but I do have a limited number of evening appointments although they tend to go quickly. I work on Zoom which means you do not have to travel to see me.
If you are interested please use the button below to book a free 30 minute, no obligation call so that I can check that the conflict coaching is what you need and that I have appointments available in your timescale. You can also ask any questions you have in that call. Or if you prefer you can email me using the email button below.
Not sure if you need this or divorce coaching? Call me and we will talk about it to make sure you get the help that is right for you.
Who am I?
Don't battle on alone. I can help.
I have over twenty-five years experience of dealing with and resolving conflicts in relationships in my work as a family lawyer. To that first hand experience, I have added years of study about psychology of relationships, human emotions and behaviours and conflict resolution. I now bring that experience and knowledge to my work as a coach.
Nothing brings me greater joy than meeting people whose lives are blighted by relationship conflict and working with them to find a way forward that brings ease, and relief. My speciality is helping you look at life as you want it to be when the conflict is over and helping you not get stuck into a downward spiral.
I can help you recognise and move past the very common feelings of guilt, anger, loss, confusion and hurt that come with divorce and separation. You can speak openly to me and trust that I will listen, understand and support you to find a way forward.
I CAN HELP YOU
- See a better future
- Analyse the conflict and fully understand how to get out of it
- Establish your goals and values
- Be aware of your go-to conflict style and how to choose an alternative where that would be more productive
- Understand where the possibilities for resolution of your conflict lie
- Keep your calm and not be 'emotionally hijacked' in mediation or court hearings
- Practise confidence and calmness in advance of difficult situations
- Improve your communication skills
- Gain basic negotiation skills
- Spot repeating patterns in your life that might be impacting on your relationships
- Practise difficult conversations
- Think creatively about ways forward
- Use your body as an 'early warning system' of arising conflict
- Minmise the impact of a personal relationship breakup on your work life.
- Take practical steps to reestablish yourself after separation/ divorce
- Minimize the effect of toxic conflict on your children
- Recognise your triggers and how to deal with them
- Help you get a better sense of control over your life
- Build a new sense of identity
Contact me for more details
The first step in working together is to start to build a relationship!
If you are interested in having me help you, your first step is to contact me. Just schedule a call with me or email me using the buttons below. We can talk about your particular situation and your needs and can figure out together where to go from there.